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2.08.2005

Melt

In need of some kind of relieve, maybe by studying and using a language I haven't had chance to use for a long time, I try and try with the powers of my mind to come across this world and come back on the other side with a renewed feeling of "next morning"/"next day". Maybe because of self-puty, or even as a personal way of conquering all the fears inthe world in one big, in one huge.... attempt.

Making plans is all there is in the world right now. At least, for this poor escuse for a writer who tries, most desperately to calm down and be cool under the sun. So, I smile and google-search all possible matches for everything that isn't important and becomes my entire world in this very second. Thank heavens dying is no longer an option, for I am needed in a strange but true and undeniable way. And... moving along, moving along.

I have no real pleasure in it, let's be frank. I don't really have any special need to map and draw things, to make cushions or anything. Strangely, I keep thinking that if I control and conquer this little world now, I will be able to take a bigger bite at something I don't know.

Perhaps, in a near future, things won't be so strange. Or maybe, they'll be same, changing only the reasons.

por acredoce, autora nunca publicada e raramente lida.
preenchimento do cabeçalho obrigatório: 2/08/2005 11:36:00 AM |